Family / Career

There are too many good talks at work recently!

Today, the author of book "Faminine Mistake: Are we Giving up too much?" came to talk about her book. The choice between family versus career has always been a heated debate, and a lot of my friends face that challenge too. Although I'm far from making that decision, I have thought about it from time to time.

I'm not planning to talk about the viewpoints in the book here. However, I did reflect on my upbringing and how I see the pros and cons.

Both my parents worked ever since I was born, and I was raised by my grandparents when I was small. I was so attached to my grandma when I was in kindergarten that I would cry when she needed to leave me.

After my brother and sister were born, my grandparents' health deteriated. As the eldest child at home, I automatically took up the role of taking care of my siblings, even though I was not even 12 back then. I still recalled heating up dishes myself before school, and I had to bring my brother and sister to school. I had to take up some housework too, such as blooming and wiping the floor. However, I did not recall a single bit of resentment or anger about this. Instead, I was proud of myself and felt that I achieved a lot at my age. Because of all these trainings, it helped me to become a more independent person, and be able to take care of others.

If you ask me if I can choose, do I want my mom to be a full time housewife, I would say that I enjoyed how I was brought up and I don't think they need to change anything. If not for the chances for me to take care of myself and others, I will be a lot inferior as compared to what I'm now (though becoming somehow inferior may not be a bad idea from another perspective). It helped to build up my courage and independence.

At the same time, I think my mom enjoyed her work too. She has made so many friends throughout her career. If she has to stay at home, I can't imagine how she would be now.

I guess by now, my stance is pretty obvious. There could always be the other side of the story, such as a child goes astray due to lack of supervision by his/her parents. However, I guess the key is not whether a woman works / stays at home. The key is how the family is and how the family communicates. I strongly believe that if parents do pass on the right value and act as a role model for the child, and show the love and care for the child, I don't see how the child can go very wrong.

Blessed to all families in the world, since they are very important units in the world!